Venus Ruled Men
I am so excited to record for February and speak to the underlying role Venus has played in everything. I’m excited to watch her current cycle play out. We’ve already got some amazing content on The Grand Rising Podcast. The reviews so far have been great.
Today I want to talk about the Venus ruled men in my life. I am going to give you two vastly different charts that are both Libra Rising. In one of them I am going to show you how being Venus ruled doesn’t always mean a lovely and pleasurable relationship. The other one is working out well.
This is to show you how to look at your own partner’s chart, and how to compare it to your own. I think sometimes we hear Venus ruled and get that gushy romantic feeling, but that isn’t always the case. Every sign and every planet has a shadow or shallow side.
Chart One: The Past
26 degrees Libra Rising. So often we hear Libra Risings are soft and demure, but that isn’t always the case. On the shadow side Libra can be quite people pleasing and passive, but the position of Venus and any aspects being made to her colors that a lot. As does planets in the house.
You can notice straight away that he has Pluto and the North Node very close to his ascendant. Libra Risings want connection, but his connections are meant to transform him deeply. His purpose in this incarnation is to understand and evolve himself, but last I knew he hadn’t done that.
Now I want you to notice how Pluto is in exact opposition to his Venus in the 7th house, who is retrograde and in detriment. At its lowest expression Venus in Aries is all about themselves. It can be a very selfish and demanding energy. It can speak to cockiness and condescension.
On the higher octave, Venus in Aries shows up with emotional sovereinty, understanding the only way to create ultimate pleasure is to become unshakable in your belief that you can. He did not have that. He was definitely living in the shadow and shallow sides of himself.
Venus in the 7th house as the chart ruler means he definitely wants a partner. Someone bold and confident. But with it being Rx it speaks to his partnerships forcing him to take a look at himself. With that opposition to Pluto everything is a mirror that shows him his shadow side, and he doesn’t want to face its truth in order to evolve it.
Venus is trine his Neptune in the Sagittarius third house. He lives under the illusion that relationships are there to serve him. This is also the shadow expression of the North Node in the first house. When you look to the chart to see where he may be softer it’s difficult to find.
Normally you’d say let me look at the Moon. His is in Aquarius in the 5th house. He was incredibly wounded as a child. His father abused him and his mother exalted his father. The Sun represents the father and is in its exalted sign here in the 7th house. He learned men are to be exalted.
I believe the conjunction to the South Node means he had karmic issues to clear with his father in this lifetime, but his father passed away before that could ever be done. His mother smothered him in order to try and make up for what his father had done.
First a Moon in Aquarius can show up as cold and detached, which he was. In fact, recently we reached out after years to try and get a meeting between him and our son. He said our son should have thought about that five years ago when he cut contact.
But if you know the story you know that we should never have contacted him again, but my son was hopeful that his dad has changed. A narcissist seldom ever does. You would think that with Mars in Pisces he wouldn’t be abusive or sociapathic. That he’d be more passive.
Well in childhood he had to be. His father abused him if he fell out of line in any way, shape, or form. His Sun is at 22 Aries, and opposes his ascendant. He became his father and lived in that reflection. He would do mean things and then laugh at you. He was sadistic.
His exalted Sun is in the bounds of Mars. His core identity was warrior for himself. His MC is in Leo so he feels meant to shine, but with that square to his Chiron in the 8th house he views power in a warped way. I think this is also seen through his chart ruler, Venus, in trine to Neptune in the 3rd.
This Venus showed up as cocky and full of himself. I wouldn’t say he was sure of himself because no one who is would act the way that he did. That stemmed from deep insecurities that he refused to confront.
Anyway, he couldn’t learn how to love himself in the end. To accept and be accountable for the harm he had caused me and my children. So can you see this if you look at both charts together? Yes.
First thing I notice is how his Saturn is conjunct my ascendant. Immediately I know this is a heavy relationship meant to mature me, and help me discover more of who I am. His Saturn is also square my Chiron. So this a double whammy weight of supression. Committing to him was going to cause deep and great pain.
My Saturn is sextile his 2nd house. Indeed I forced him to mature and change what he had been doing for finances. I had his child and he turned four months old, while he still sat around and did nothing all day. I kicked him out and told him not to come back until he had a job. He came back a week later with a job and was never without one after that.
My Saturn also trines his Mercury in the Taurus 8th house. So me speaking on what I value and expect teaches him about maturing in the area of power dynamics and shared resources. For years I tried to have deep and vulnerable talks with him. One of the last times he cried and said he just wasn’t capable of having intelligence conversations like I am.
Another thing I noticed is that his Moon, which is already cold and detached, is conjunct my Mars in the 7th house. Mars in the 7th house can speak to violent partners, which he was. He used his own emotions as justification to assault and harm others.
What’s interesting is his Mars is also sextile my Neptune. There was definitely a veil of illusion over his relationship to my children that later brought me such deep shame to work through. With it being a sextile he had an easy time confusing me or making me think I was crazy.
It’s also trine my Pluto. So when he used to say “You take me through changes” he was telling the truth. I forced him to face his shadow side no matter how ugly it got. There came a point where my Pluto in the third house ruled that entire relationship.
It’s crazy that we got married for religious reasons. You can see Mars in my house of marriage, and he rules my house of religion. His Mars is conjunct my South Node in the 8th house. We had definitely lived past lives together and had such deep karma to clear.
His anger (Mars) drained me (South Node). He could cut me like it was nothing and expect me to just move on and be okay. I don’t even see the initial attraction in our synastry. Our Venus are square one another. Perhaps my Venus square his Pluto was the initial flame.
His Sun and South Node are on my MC. That marriage forced me to study and learn psychology and higher truths. I studied parenting and healing. So his identity and personality forced me to learn about identity and personality in us all. It is what led me to where I am now.
Even though my Venus squares his it falls into his 4th house. I felt like home for him some ways. It’s my sixth house and his fourth, so he felt cared for in the home because I catered to him. My Venus in Capricorn can be desperate to prove her love through duty and service in the 6th house.
His Mercury is trine my Venus, and in the beginning we definitely had easy conversation. But it’s square my ascendant and the reason he got so ugly and abusive is because he agreed that daycare was too expensive, so I should stay home with the kids and go to school.
However, he would always bring up the time I kicked him out and told him to get a job. But I was working at that time full time with four kids that he didn’t help me care for. I would come home to notes on the fridge asking me to go to the laundromat and do his laundry when I got home because he was still asleep after doing nothing all day.
He would tell me I deserve compliments when I can work, as if I wasn’t working taking care of the house, his every need, four kids, and running a home bakery. Nothing would ever be enough for him. His communication squaring my ascendant could have foretold his abusive rhetoric that would deeply wound me to the core of who I am.
His Venus falls into my 9th house, which means I was to learn something from a relationship with him that would benefit my purpose. It squares my Venus, which means that it would cause me tension in my daily life. That my habits and routines would be dictated by his pleasure.
Having his Venus square my ascendant shows that I would lose myself in this relationship. It can also speak to him feeling I was his savior in some way. That the answer to his problems was always me.
I could dive super deep, but I think this is good. You can see that just because he is Venus ruled doesn’t mean he’s a pleasant person. He is the exact opposite, but his ruler is in the opposite sign in detriment, and to add insult to injury she is Rx. His relationships are hard, but he is the reason.
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Chart Two: The Present
Here you see he is also a Libra Rising, but his first house is very different. He has Lilith conjunct his ascendant and Uranus, too. This lets us know that his relationships are going to eventually liberate him. When we look at his Venus it’s in a much better sign, Cancer.
Being in the tenth house you know that he wants his relationship to be known as nurturing and loving. With our recent scare I can tell you that he has hundreds of people stepping up to support. All of them saying he is the best man they’ve ever met. How generous and charasmatic he is.
His Venus is sextile his Moon Pluto conjunction in the 12th house. His relationships hold a spiritual and emotional significance for him. It’s trine his 2nd house Jupiter and Part of Fortune. It’s easy for him to be a giver. He feels fortunate when he can help others.
The only tense aspect is Venus in square to Vertex in his 7th house. This can show that his idea of love and relationships, what he wants to present to the world, may be vastly different than the truth. And in his past that was the case. Because of his generous nature women took advantage of him.
His Chiron in the 7th house speaks to the wounds they have caused. He was in his Chiron return when we came back into one another’s lives. I met him and my ex around the same time two decades ago. I knew he was different back then. But the Chiron return can speak to deep healing, and this relationship has definitely done that for him.
His Venus is also in the bounds of Jupiter, which rules his 3rd and 6th houses. He is who he says he is. And when he has fallen into the shadow or shallow he takes accountability and grows from it. We’ve never had to repeat the exact same conversation twice.
Chart one had Venus in detriment and in retrograde. Chart two has Venus in lovely, mushy Cancer in pretty good aspect. So the chart rulers matter but you have to look at the details to understand it better. Both men are Libra Rising, but their Venus shows up vastly different.
His Venus shows up as nurturing with admiration and pride. He loves love and he wants the whole world to know it. ❤
This is our synastry. Very different energy on my ascendant. His South Node is close, so you know we’ve likely lived a past life together. His Juno is there and this can show that I identify with him as husband material. His Mercury is in my first house, showing he compliments and talks me up. He even does that in crowds of people when with family and friends.
His Sun falls right on my Jupiter. Such a different energy than Saturn. This is the aspect I credit for how accepted he feels by me. In the past women tried to change him, and I just love who he is. He has taught me how to express the best of my Leo Rising.
His Sun is also square my Chiron and he does trigger wounds in me, but not because he treats me badly. More so because he believes in me and pushes me to acheieve my wildest dreams. He challenges the limitations my past has led me to put on myself.
His Mercury opposes mine, and occassionally we do disagree. However, we do not argue. We are both willing to hear the other person out, and not rush to prove a point that doesn’t matter as much as our love and connection does. We discuss using our relationship as a mirror or portal to the self.
His Mercury is trine my 5th house Vertex, so talking to him excites me. Especially when we are talking about the kids and our future projects. We have creative conversations. It’s also in trine to my MC, which means I learn a lot about and discover my own purpose through talking with him.
Our Moons are in the same sign, so there is this almost psychic understanding of what the other needs emotionally. We can tell if the energy is off quite easily. And since his ruler is Venus I want to mention it falls into my 12th house, which is mystical and deep.
It creates this profound emotional connection and understanding. There is this underlying sense of safety and comfort in one another. We are comfortable being vulnerable. His Venus is opposite mine by sign, but not by degree. He provides the stability I need emotionally in order to express hidden parts of myself that the world may benefit from seeing.
This is one of the most intuitive loves I’ve experienced. His Saturn is sextile my Jupiter, which rules my 5th and 8th houses. So there is this ease in committing to me for him. He finds it pleasurable and there is depth. My Saturn is sextile his MC. So I am comitted to watching him thrive.
Committing to him is good for my networking and long-term objectives since his Saturn falls into my 11th. Committing to me is good for his spiritual growth and shadow work healing since mine falls in his 12th. As does my Moon fall into his 12th house.
This means I awaken sacred realms and trigger him of past life memories or current fears. I help him access deeper states of being, awaken his abilities, and give him a sense that our bond is strong. My Moon is also sextile his MC, so I benefit his purpose and image by teaching him emotional intelligence. And one of the things he’s said to me is that I have taught him so much about emotions.
He talks a lot about how for years he had no one by his side at gatherings, and when he did it was a woman who had cheated, used him, or stolen his shine in some way. So even if he had someone to take it was someone his family and friends didn’t particularly care for.
It means so much to him that I love him the way I do. His mother told us she knows I am the one for her son. I love his family to pieces. This man is so gentle and sensitive that it’s unreal at times. There are zero abuse indicators in this chart.
I will only say this, the Moon conjunct Pluto is quite powerful. But in the 12th house that isn’t a side of him often expressed. On the shadow side this aspect can create powerful emotional transformation that manifests in not so pleasant ways, but it’s ultimately showing the power he has for self-control and mastery.
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In any case, I wanted to show you how just saying someone is ruled by a certain planet doesn’t tell us enough. You can say that I am ruled by the Sun as a Leo Rising, and so I want to lead and be seen. But my Sun is in detriment in the 7th house of other people, so I much prefer to be behind the scenes. The shape the ruler is in matters greatly.
There is an entirely next level to this, too. You have to look at where their ruler and planets fall in your chart. I would love to help you with your synastry questions! Please email me alignedalchemy79@gmail.com !
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