Unknown Territory and Self-Sabotage

There is a deal I’m offering at the end of this post. It would mean the world to me to get to know more of you and share in your genuine experiences. To be able to comfort you by explaining what is going on through the transits to your different charts. It’s always written in the stars.

I am here tonight because I have to get this all out. This year has been tough, and yet beautiful in so many ways. I am intentionally trying to learn how to surf through the moments, and let them be what they are. If I’m triggered I know that, so I work through it with time. I don’t try to rush it away.

On the rare occasion I cannot shake it I will ask for reassurance. It’s given in a healthy, productive way, and not as a constant pleading in order for me to be okay. I am letting myself be truly and deeply loved, and for the first time in my life truly and deeply opening myself to others.

I want to do all I can to savor this for as long as I can. I’m surrounded by amazing family. There is so much love in my life. I have the best friend a woman could ever ask for. I am building such a rich, beautiful life.

The truth is we will always have deep seated fears that we are not good enough. And if we stop sabotaging our relationships and dreams in one area, we’ll do it another. The universe is not letting me out of laying a good foundation of physical health and stability.

It’s crucial that John and I start really taking care of ourselves. We both deserve this relationship and life we are building together. It’s been a long time coming, and now that I’ve stopped sabotaging myself in relationships, it’s time to stop sabotaging my body and health.

I’ve written more in depth about this journey before. But Saturn just went RX right on my chart ruling Sun, and he rules my sixth house of health, structure, work, and routine. The universe is not playing. The other day I had a crazy experience I’m going to tell you about. Afterward I am going to explain what another astrologer told me after the fact when I posted and asked questions.

Plenty of you know my plan is to own land and help people. That I want to teach people to embrace their duality, and all versions of themselves, so they can stop shaming and sabotaging themselves. I have done…