Tidal Wave: November 11th–17th
Introduction:
Even after two decades of healing work it is so hard for me to just believe someone loves me. That I don’t have to perform for acceptance. I think the problem is that no matter how much I surrender the lesson is to surrender more. Most days I understand why. Today I am angry about it.
My life is so much better since I started this journey for sure, but here I am, in that familiar space of recognizing illusions for what they are. That space where I feel like I was following the signs, and they led me back to square one, where I have no control, and even if my life depended on it, no energy to recreate, to restart, to redo.
But Mercury is going retrograde, so here we are. I was reading Ang Stoic today, and it just hit home. Let me share it with you…
On October 6th he posted:
So the eclipses have come and gone, and many of us are feeling like flotsam, flung out from a storm, washed up on some jagged shore — beaten, bruised, yet somehow not surprised. We knew the storm was coming, just like we knew the little lies and illusions we played along with would one day blow up in our faces.
Secrets, or the things we won’t tell, aren’t nothing; they’re toxic and heavy, like leaden weights, dragging you down with every step. Every second of every day, you brace yourself for the inevitable moment when truth finally breaks through, leaving you to pick up the humiliating pieces. The weight of the big reveal of these eclipses can be quite crushing.
And here, even after everything’s torn apart, after the truth lays bare, I see most people still don’t want their lives fixed. They cling hard to their messes, defend their dramas tooth and nail, resume to glut over their distractions. Because the real trauma isn’t the storm — it’s the emptiness that comes after.
The clean slate is scarier than the chaos. Tomorrow’s unknown is more frightening than any of the dank shit we’ve been through.
And now, as we stand in the wreckage, one thing becomes blatantly clear: that none of this was random. What we called chaos was just a pattern we refused to see. What felt like madness was just history repeating, over and over. The mess, the storm, the fallout — it’s all part of the same cycle, the same damning pattern that we refuse to see.
Freedom to choose might be just an illusion. Control over anything is a sad joke. We’re just living out the next chapter of a cosmic story written long before we got here, and we seem hopeless to change the script, even if our lives depended on it.
~ facebook.com/ang.stoic
A pattern is only a pattern until you recognize it. After that each time you do that thing it becomes a choice you’re making. For me, whenever I find myself in the chokehold of Cupid’s arrow I cringe. I want to throw up a few protections that will keep me safe, but also keep love from coming in.
This tortuous journey I’ve been on has forced me to expand my capacity for love and acceptance. Hate is so much easier to tolerate for so many. We are just as terrified, more terrified, of our greatness, as we are our failures. We want to be loved for who we are, without having to be who we are.
All the times I’ve idealized situations. Here we are, moments away from the Moon in Pisces squaring off with Mercury in Sagittarius. Wanting to feel a deep connection, but wanting to run away all at the same time. And I have to wonder what happens later when that same Moon conjuncts Saturn.
Because I’m sad enough today. And so much seems out of my control. And so much seems like a joke that was played on me. But I’m flowing through it. This is what I mean when I say practice the flow.
Nothing I’ve tried today has been able to shake off the depression, the loneliness, the emptiness I feel. I didn’t feel this way yesterday, and I probably won’t feel this way tomorrow, but I feel this way today. And I’ve taught myself that’s okay.
Because while the Moon is sextile my Venus, and opposite my Saturn, Mercury is in square to that, too. So whatever tension there is ultimately ends up benefiting me in the end. I just have to surrender and believe.
And even in this state I can do that. I can do that because I have lots of practice sustaining hope and faith no matter how I feel. Feelings are so often liars, even though we want them validated more than anything.
So much of the astrology right now is about the dark feminine rising. There is a time for love and light, and there is a time to fight. And if the masculine hopes to survive the tidal wave he best get on board.
As a sacred feminine I feel like I need to invest my energy differently moving forward. You’re all in or you’re out. There is no in between. ❤
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Monday, November 11th:
We are coming off from a day where the Moon was in Pisces. It was making us want to escape responsibility and just feel good. And if you didn’t get that validated through someone else or an experience maybe you just felt more emotional than usual.
There could have been a tense or weird conversation that moved you to reflect on what you’re committing to. There is more information coming.
Today is what many are calling the 1111 portal. Make a wish, my loves. The day starts out reminding us of the growth we have yet to accomplish. We know that in order to move forward we need more information. I think we get that information quite quickly.
The Moon in Pisces will square off with Jupiter in Gemini, right before she trines the Sun over in Scorpio. It’s as if a lightbulb goes off and something clicks. You’re ready to put in the effort and energy.
Venus moves in Capricorn, where she is done with this knight of wands, fiery, storytelling fantasy. She wants security, warmth, and devotion. Then at 555 pm the Moon in Pisces sextiles Uranus in Taurus. You’re feeling pretty good about an opportunity or answer that relieves weight.
Be careful because as the Moon conjoins Neptune it’s going to be easy to fall back into the illusion later in the evening. Ultimately spend it being creative, romantic, and enjoying your favorite things.
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Tuesday, November 12th:
The world is a shitshow. As above, so below. Our personal lives aren’t where we want them to be. But we wake up with the Moon in Pisces having formed a sextile to Pluto in Capricorn in the middle of the night. So maybe we need to take all the emotions we feel and set them aside for now.
We get a leg up with that. We also rise with the Moon having moved into the sign of Aries, having squared Venus in Capricorn. Conversations have to happen today. Hard, uncomfortable conversations. Putting them off only builds a longer fuse to a much larger bomb.
I think we’re feeling more courageous about these conversations today. I think the fear of the conversation is far worse than the outcome will be. It may not feel like that at first. Because as we start the day we see Mercury in Sagittarius square off with Saturn in Pisces.
Someone is being self-righteous. There seems to be a lack of compassion. But by late evening the Moon in Aries forms a trine with that same Mercury. This leads me to believe that everything works out in the end.
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Wednesday, November 13th:
It’s a lighter day. The Moon in Aries sextiles Jupiter in Gemini. It seems someone from the past, or some old information that becomes new again, helps you in some way. Whatever has you ready to fight there is something you don’t know or haven’t seen yet. You will know or see it today.
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Thursday, November 14th:
Keep in mind we have this background story of the tidal wave. Information just pouring in. You’re being asked what and who you want to commit to moving forward. And as we wake up the Moon in Aries has squared off with Pluto in Capricorn. Tension between the old and the new.
The Moon then moved into Taurus, where she wants to feel comfortable and secure, but super early she squares off with Mars in Leo. So while she wants comfort and security, there is something lacking in her integrity. Where are you trying to find that comfort and stability?
Is it in spaces you’ve looked a million times and come up empty?
As she forms the sextile to Venus I think people you know could say or do something that makes it click for you. All day long that Moon and Venus aspect hangs on for dear life. Something feels reliable. Things feel safer and more stable than they have all week.
I don’t think that feeling leaves because around 1018 pm the Moon in Aries sextiles Saturn in Pisces, creating a deeply committed, devotional energy.
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Friday, November 15th:
Lookout because today we have a Full Moon in Taurus conjunct Uranus. Things on the world stage are likely to become shocking. But first, we see Saturn in Pisces station direct. Meaning whatever you’ve sown over the last six months in the Pisces area of your chart, and the Capricorn and Aquarius areas, will be be what you reap the next six months.
It’s at 428 pm the Full Moon shows itself. We aren’t necessarily afraid of change, so much as we are leaving without our mark being made. But sometimes you have to empty your pride today, in order to have peace on the morrow. This Full Moon is conjunct Uranus.
Be ready for something shocking and sudden to complete or come to fruition. Whatever this represents for you it feels like you have to cut something short that you really intended to take on full time for the foreseeable future. It’s time to venture into new pastures.
Keep in mind, that moving forward the challenges will soften. The karmic lessons of Saturn in Pisces are being learned. Time to integrate.
Early evening we see the exact conjunction of the Moon to Uranus. And later in the night we see the Moon sextile Neptune. Great night for manifesting. For indulging in things that please your soul, rather than your body. To delay instant gratification for the fulfillment of patience.
I told you in the beginning of this blog that I am not happy with the current energy. That I feel depressed and tired. The Sun is in my 4th house, stripping away all that is not real, not lasting, so that I can learn to find security and trust solely within myself, and not in the idea that I need a happy, perfect family to be enough for.
For all of us this is a cue to take a risk. To get out of what is familiar and trust something new and unknown. You may be left no other choice.
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Saturday, November 16th:
Today starts well, but ends with some tension. We wake up to the Moon in Aries having sextiled Pluto in Capricorn six minutes before moving into Gemini. Where we want to logic our way through feelings.
Some will shout the facts don’t care about your feelings. Others will shout from their feelings. And the feelings don’t care about the facts. So don’t participate in the nonsense.
That Moon in Gemini sextiles Mars in Leo early in the day. Giving us the emotional stamina to follow our hearts. And quarter to ten this evening you’re going to shock them all. Or they’re going to shock you.
The Sun in Scorpio opposes Uranus in Taurus. There is a breakthrough in security, safety, and stability. Everything is impermanent. Nothing is forever. And just before eleven the Moon squares Saturn to prove that.
I think we go to bed frustrated. Either with ourselves or someone else for a lack of commitment. We know where we have to devote ourselves, and it’s okay to stop beating yourself up for today, and try again tomorrow.
Go to bed with grace in your heart.
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Sunday, November 17th:
We greet the dawn with the Moon in Gemini opposing Mercury in Sagittarius. It’s like we are scattered, and as soon as our feet hit the floor, clarity rushes in. And then the Moon conjoins Jupiter, and is the last aspect until 1111 pm tonight.
Big feelings. Conversations about ethics and morals. Life and death. And by the end of the night it’s clear who is aligned and who is not. Where you’ve been settling for the illusion of a future that does not exist, when you could be manifesting one that does.
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