The Showdown: Past versus Future

Adjust Your Sails
16 min readNov 19, 2020

I’ve been putting this post off after saying I would do it because honestly my emotional foundations have been being tested to the limit. If you follow me regularly you’re aware that last month during the Mercury Uranus opposition my family experienced a lot of misfortune, from Covid to death.

Well, yesterday was the third and final opposition, and me and my kids have to quarantine again because of potential Covid exposure. The one thing I am not is constant love and light. I have braved and faced some of the worst darkness you can imagine just to figure it out and understand it. It’s in my chart that I have sympathy for good and the evil alike.

It’s not that I enjoy the shadow. It’s just that I understand the shadow isn’t as personal as it feels. For a long time I allowed this understanding and sympathy to become enabling. Thankfully, I am now aware that because I understand something or someone it doesn’t mean I have to enable their behavior or the pain they cause me because they refuse to heal.

You cannot save other people. You will never love them enough, give up enough, set aside enough of your own dreams to heal them. We each have to choose our own healing. So often we spend many years seeking to feel loved and validated through other broken people, wondering why it only ever leaves us more broken. Only you have true access to your inner world.

Right now I have all the Scorpio transits in my fourth house of home, family, and emotional foundations. Just yesterday alone it was a roller coaster ride. This entire year has been like one huge test where I’ve had to prove that I’ve learned these lessons. That I have truly grown and matured into an emotionally intelligent woman. I won’t pretend to like it.

There are days I crave human interaction so badly still that I want to reach out to people I know I shouldn’t. I always stop myself. The truth is I am aware if I do reach out it’s not going to make me feel better. It will momentarily, but then I’m left as broken as I was the last time and having to repair a wound I already worked so hard to heal. That temporary validation isn’t worth it.

Right now, Neptune is in Pisces and it’s squaring the South Node in Sagittarius and the North Node in Gemini. This is your past literally squaring off with…



Adjust Your Sails

You must grow strong enough to love the world, yet empty enough to sit down at the same table with its worst horrors. ― Andrew Boyd