The photo above is a card from The Wisdom of the Oracle deck by Colette Baron-Reid. It speaks of that moment when you’re shifting from one life into the next. It’s about the transition period that can feel like a no-man’s land. Where you seem to have to navigate the space in blindness.
Many of us want to know the way, have it spelled out for us, but this is about trusting the way. It’s about learning to dance with the divine in a space you cannot always see clearly. One of my favorite quotes is by Bob Proctor. “Faith and fear both demand you believe in something you cannot see. Choose!”
As we decide to take control of our lives, to live in self-awareness and self-actualization, there is this period of in-between worlds we must navigate through. This is the phase that will make or break you. The map is your soul, and it takes time to get to know your soul. It takes meditation, journaling, investment, and determination.
It’s a necessary phase because it’s giving you the time and space to sort out the previous world you chose to live in. To find forgiveness for self and others. To take the lessons you’ve learned and carry them with you where you’re going. My in-between phase started before I ever left my previous life four years ago.
I knew well before I left that I would be leaving. The space in between me realizing I was going to leave and actually leaving was where I learned so much. By the time I left I wasn’t fully ready to totally step into the new world because it was unknown, unfamiliar, and terrifying. However, so was the thought of staying and never realizing my full potential.
Since then, I’ve been learning more about who I really am, what I want from life and a partner, and more of what I don’t want, too. I feel as if my three year mark was about being triggered by the universe to ensure I really had studied to show myself approved. That I have truly learned the lessons of the past and am carrying them with me, so I don’t have to repeat them.
I left my previous world physically on October 29, 2016. It was finalized and over officially on October 29, 2019. It’s not something I could have planned, but simply the way it worked out. This year, on that date, will be four years. I see four a lot and I have no doubt that something significant is going to shift, as four is all about foundations, and my foundation is within.
Be patient with yourself during the in-between phase. Have kindness and compassion for the part of you that has to grieve the old life you’re leaving behind. If you don’t grieve it and find closure within over it the process is just prolonged and you will trip over old stuff as you navigate this new space you’re learning and trying to build.
There is a need for a lot of alone time and if you’re not used to that you will feel lonely. It’s okay to be human, too. You signed up for that experience. Now is the time to integrate it into your divine half. Both your light and shadow are worthy and important and loved. Hold your shadow’s hand as you guide it with your light. You will get there with time and intention.
You will feel a bit lost sometimes in this space and it’s only because you’re not used to living an authentic life. Vulnerability and choosing to show up in the world isn’t an easy choice. If it were way more people would do it. When you start to feel as if it’s taking too long, you’re lonely, or that you have so far to go please pause. Remind yourself of how far you’ve come.
For a long time I had a pin above my desk that said, “I’d rather be alone”. Every time I started to feel lonely or as if I would retreat to the old life I would look at that pin. I would recall all the nights I felt more lonely laying next to someone than I ever felt since I began sleeping alone.
I would remember that simply having a body next to me wasn’t going to cure the loneliness and hurt that I was feeling. I had to actually feel it, discover what was triggering it, and learn to be whole on my own. When we choose to escape the feelings being led by our wounded egos we make it worse. We simply prolong the inevitable or live a life of misery and regret.
Meditation has helped me through a lot of my loneliness. Connecting to a source that is higher than myself has truly been a blessing and navigation tool. It is in those quiet moments where my most creative sparks come to life. Where epiphanies and visions are granted to me. Where I am so full of gratitude and joy that lonely is the furthest thing from my mind.
Growth isn’t an overnight process. It’s a life long journey. Your soul is here to learn specific lessons and that learning never ends. Part of this in between phase is trying to get you used to living in the space of faith in the unknown. It’s trying to help you build your intuition and allow that to guide you rather than random emotions that ebb and flow out of nowhere.
This space is about you learning how to develop and cultivate a relationship with yourself. Learning what you are willing to accept and what you are not. Choosing to no longer compromise self-respect, self-love, self-worth, and your inner dignity and values for people who would never do the same for you.
Do not rush the process. Along the way you will get frustrated. You will have a hard time viewing detours as divine intervention. You will feel like giving up. These are all tests helping you ingrain the lessons you’re meant to learn within your being and psyche. What needs to shift every time isn’t the world around you. It’s your perception of it.
This is why I love the Hanged Man card in tarot. It’s not always the easiest message when you’re reminded that it’s your own perception and feelings that have to shift, but it’s an honest one. You are never going to be able to control the outside world or the people in it. The only control you have is over the way you interact and navigate that space.
Anything outside of that is only going to bring you anxiety, fear, paranoia, and more negative experiences. If you are someone who needs help through those experiences there is no shame in that. Seek counseling, take medication, do what it is you know is necessary for you to function at high capacity.
I’m going to include a reading for anyone going through an in-between phase. Those of you who feel stuck, and aren’t sure what your next move should be. I hope that it truly helps you discover what it is that you need to push forward.
I find it interesting that the Animal Spirit card that flew out is the Antelope Spirit. This is a message that your personal growth and evolution are about to speed up. If you’ve been feeling stuck hang in there. Once things begin to move faster you’re going to wish for this slow period, this down time. So, take full of advantage of it while you still have it.
It’s time to get moving. Sit down and write out your intentions. What kind of person do you want to be? What kind of people do you want to surround yourself with? What are the gifts within you that you’ve denied expression? If you could wake up every day doing one thing to make the world a better place what would it be? Why aren’t you doing it?
Some of you may feel the world around you is already moving faster than you’re ready for. You might sense underneath the surface all the energy that is being stirred up in your favor. Don’t get stuck in a whirlwind thinking you need to control all the outcomes. You’re not an all powerful being.
You’re a human being whose only job is to step into your full power and stop giving it away. Let go and just enjoy the ride. Use this time to dig out the lessons of the past and reassess your life. Even if you’ve spent years investing in something that you know isn’t going to come to fruition that’s okay. It’s never wasted. There is always something we can take from everyone or everything we end up having to leave behind.
Practice gratitude every day. It’s a good habit to keep a journal that is just for writing down lists of things you’re grateful for. Whenever you find yourself struggling to feel it write. You need it the most when you feel it least. It will help shift your perspective and how you feel. You will either become disciplined and change your own mind and life or you won’t.
This is important because the thoughts we think spark emotions, and emotions behind our thoughts are like arrows. They send out vibrations into the universe that will attract things back to us for better or worse. The universe isn’t in the game of reward and punishment. It just dishes out what we ask to be served.
What fuels you with passion? Stop living the ego, chasing lust and quick thrills that will never fulfill you. What truly and deeply inspires you? What kind of empire would you build if you had limitless resources? Where can you start with what you have? The way you think is a good a place to start.
You have to release the old life completely before the new one can come in. Stop being afraid to let it go. Trust me, everyone and everything I’ve had to release over the years has claw marks. When we live in ego we live in fear and tend to cling to that which we know doesn’t serve us. Release the fear and the releasing of what doesn’t serve you is easier.
There is a huge message of tapping into your feminine energy and intuition. Do something that makes you feel soft, sensual, and creative. I don’t care what your gender is this is good advice. Often men in the world are taught that being a woman is equal to weakness. This harms them as much as it does the plight of women and our desire to be seen as enough, as worthy, as strong.
Don’t take conflict personal, even your internal conflict. Simply become an outside observer and take note of what you can learn from it. You are not the thoughts and feelings causing conflict. You are the awareness above it that can grab your inner child’s hand and guide him or her through it.
There is no need to take action just yet. Now is a time to really change things internally first. To understand that until you change how you think, how you feel, how you perceive the world nothing else can change. Even when it does it won’t be changes for the better you’re making.
You are likely someone who has given everything you’ve had to please other people. Now is a time for you to simply receive. Sure, if you can help another person do that, but don’t think you have to save everyone else to earn your own salvation. You’re saved the moment you decide you’re worthy.
No external force gets to decide that for you. You don’t have to people please your way to worthiness. You simply own your worth.