“We are all hypocrites, but the difference is that some of us strive to reduce the cognitive dissonance that hypocrisy creates.” ~Unknown
As someone with an Aries 9th house and MC (Midheaven), it was foretold I would martyr for many causes in this life. I was brand new in this incarnation to asserting myself, to learning what I value, and that what I value is important. To adopting religious and spiritual philosophy.
This is also foretold with a Virgo 2nd house that contains Saturn, the Moon, and the North Node in conjunction to one another. Again it was foretold in the six line of my human design. The martyr line. And the sign of Aries is a baby, brand new, propelled to pioneer something new.
When I tell you that I have taken up for many causes I tell you no lies. I also have an Aquarius stellium in the 7th house. So if the cause harms people I absolutely take it up. But what I have learned with time and intention is to hold back sometimes. It’s okay to only speak when I am moved to speak.
And today, I am moved. With Chiron in the tenth house I have deep insecurity putting myself out there. That seems contradictory but it’s not. See, I have put myself out there so much, and later changed my own mind about it, that it can cause embarrassment and shame.
However, the tenth house is my public image. It doesn’t reflect the truth or what those closest to me know. Which is that I have slowly and steadily evolved into a more disciplined, structured, loving, kind, nurturing being. And that all those things I learned along the way has become invaluable knowledge that can help so many people.
That behind me is a trail of knowledge that is useful in order for me to now see the world clearly. See, when I learned all I could about Christianity I poured into all the other religions and spiritual beliefs I could find. At that time, I was still approaching life in a matrix of fear.
When I began to learn all the things I am about to share with you they filled me with terror. I believe there are several versions of the matrix we can choose, and at that time I was deep into the matrix of fear. I almost took my own life. Sitting alone rocking back and forth nightly on the bathroom floor. I had to be an atheist in order to learn to self-soothe.