Sovereignty and Compassion: nothing is Black and White

Today we had a New Moon Eclipse in Aries. And later this evening, Mercury will move back into Pisces as Venus just did. And just like Venus, he will conjoin Neptune. And while that may seem like it would cloud or complicate things, it really doesn’t.

Aries is about sovereignty. Pisces is about compassion. What if the lesson here is that we can be both compassionate and sovereign? The picture above is wrong when it says “this generation’. It has nothing to do with this generation. This is just the truth all throughout history.

Accountability is hard because it requires emotional intelligence. It requires working through shame, rather than projecting it. And you have to be committed to that before you can authentically commit to others.

And no generation yet has mastered that. But each generation opens us up to the truth that we need a safe space to learn how. What if it’s not about boundarying up all the time, and instead, learning to discern who needs a boundary, and who deserves you to leave the light on?

I’m currently navigating this lesson so intensely in my life. Everything I feel is valid. My frustration with the pace of others’ growth and understanding. The hurt I am experiencing over a valid sense of disloyalty and betrayal. The fact that people sabotage what they don’t feel worthy of.

In some cases you do need to walk away from this. If there is no growth, no attempt at deeply revealing and honest conversations, no attempt to sit in discomfort and take accountability, you should walk away. But…

what if they do keep coming back to the table?

What if each time they come to the table they leave it and are inspired into another level of growth? Does your frustration with their pace warrant walking away? When does sovereignty cost you everything you ever wanted due to impatience?

What if they are willing to have the hardest conversations they’ve ever had in their life, with a history of avoidance? When they are led to leave everything on the table, and see themselves, and you in a honest light? In a way that no one else has?

If they see your most hidden truths, and your theirs, and you can both sit there with nothing but respect for the other?

What if you’re not meant to pour yourself into things that don’t try. That aren’t interested in showing up. But you do offer yourself to people who are showing up, even slowly. Especially when most would run away.

What if instead I remember how long it took me to get where I am? Learning something and integrating it consistently doesn’t happen overnight. So if someone is showing up slow, they are showing up.

And that’s why I think above all discernment is the lesson of these retrogrades. No one can be perfect. We all come with valid histories of trauma, abuse, neglect, shadows that we hid in when we felt there was no other safe protection around us.

And those shadows need to be seen. Shame can’t survived being seen. So sometimes the lesson is to sit with someone in their shame, see it, recognize what it triggers in you, and walk through it together. Be willing to have hard conversations with people who are willing with you.

And you release the ones who won’t. You don’t waste your precious time on people committed to betraying themselves. They will always betray you, too. Sometimes people don’t reciprocate because we can’t give other people what we don’t have inside of ourselves.

That’s why all relationships serve as a mirror. People at war with themselves cannot ever offer you the peace you deserve. Those who lie to themselves cannot be honest with you. And in those cases, see them as they are, and not as you wish them to be.

But, someone who can’t reciprocate exactly what you want right now, who is committed to their personal growth, might be worth keeping around. It is about recognizing when someone is genuinely engaged in their own growth, even if it’s a slower pace than you might wish, and when it’s time to protect your energy from those who are simply not trying.

It’s about seeing the potential for transformation and being patient enough to allow it to unfold, without compromising your own needs and well-being. The sovereignty isn’t lost here because you’re not compromising yourself, begging anything from anyone else.

You’re still whole on your own.

But how powerful is it to hold space for someone who is evolving from a dark shadow that you know all too well? To reflect back to them how proud they should be of themselves for what they’ve overcome, rather than spiral into shame over where they had to come from?

In the last blog I wrote about how I realized I’ve still been nurturing from a wounded space. Even then, my growth is self-evident. There are just layers we uncover as we intentionally set out to evolve. And the answer to that can’t be the same any longer. It can’t be wall up and run away.

This overgiving and then pulling back is too much.

Sovereignty can be soft…just ask ChatGPT:

Absolutely, sovereignty can indeed be soft. The concept of sovereignty often conjures images of firm boundaries and strong self-governance, but it doesn’t have to be rigid or harsh. Soft sovereignty is about maintaining your autonomy and agency in a way that is gentle, compassionate, and mindful of the interconnectedness of relationships.

Soft sovereignty means you can stand firm in your values and boundaries while being open and flexible in how you interact with others. It involves knowing yourself deeply, honoring your needs and feelings, and also holding space for the needs and feelings of others without compromising your own integrity.

This approach allows for emotional depth and vulnerability, which are essential for meaningful and authentic connections.

In practical terms, soft sovereignty might look like expressing your needs clearly but kindly, setting boundaries in a way that respects both parties, or navigating conflicts with empathy and understanding. It’s about being assertive without being aggressive, standing your ground in a way that also uplifts others.

This form of sovereignty is especially powerful because it integrates strength with gentleness, proving that you can be both a firm individual and a compassionate human being. It shows that true power lies not just in autonomy, but in the ability to connect deeply and authentically with others while maintaining that autonomy.