She is Water

There are days I take so much accountability I drown in it. I used to take everyone else’s, too. Pile all your shame onto me. If I am buried deep enough beneath it maybe I can convince you I’m worthy of the crumbs you sacrifice at my altar. I am not that girl anymore.

I am doing my best this year to learn to meet everyone where they’re at. To not judge them for it. To simply choose not to take it personal and leave them where they’re at if I need to; in love. I want everything I do to be rooted in who I am and not who others are to me. It’s hard some days.

Everyday I live my life bravely, in vulnerability, as my authentic self. There is sheer terror in that always, but over time it settles into the background like everything else you work on. I just accept that some people may judge me, not like me, be repelled by how open I am, but the souls ready to do the inner work to create loving, gentle, authentic connections are all I’m after.

I have a difficult time understanding how someone goes their entire life with no self-awareness. With no actualization of self that prompts them to take responsibility for their emotions and the people in their life. Sometimes I relearn the lesson over again that I cannot save anyone. That they have to be willing to meet me halfway, to use the tools I provide.