Self-sabotage and the Resentment it Creates

It’s so easy sometimes for me to come on here and write to you. To tell you all the things I’ve learned and applied to my life, and make it sound so simple. It is simple in theory, but in practice I struggle, too.

My goal is never to make you think I have it all figured out, but to assist you with embracing your human side, your perceived weaknesses, and build on your strengths. Right now I’m being faced with a familiar trigger. One I’ve faced a thousand times, and I’m unsure if I’m handling it correctly.

There is a lot on the line if I fail. But, I also know that intuitively I am doing what feels right for me. That I am trusting my higher self in spite of triggers, rising fears, and anxiety. That even though that familiar voice asking, “When is the other shoe going to drop” is present, so is the answer, “If it does you will handle it as you always have. Don’t worry before you need to.”

We all live with this duality inside of us. Often enough we cave to the shadow side hoping it keeps us safe, but it never does. What I am doing goes against every protection mechanism I have built over my 42 years of life. It is a risk into the unknown, where that voice rises up, “What if there’s no way out?”

Why do we always want an exit plan? I have Saturn conjunct my Moon in the 2nd house of personal…