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Own Your Stuff
This needs to come out tonight. It’s currently 1:31 am and I’m in the office after a visit upstairs due to some sad news. After I was there a while my mother and I began to talk about her therapy, about shame, about parenting and cycles she is sorry she didn’t break.
What she needs to know is I have already forgiven her. I am just waiting for her to follow my lead. To own her stuff and work through it, so that our relationship can be more authentic. The conversation led to me discussing emotional intelligence, catastrophizing, anxiety, and more.
Our own thoughts, the voice in your head, is the most powerful tool you have to navigate life. You can be its commander or its soldier; you choose. Until you embrace the duality, all the different versions of yourself, and reach a place of acceptance you will stand outside your story. You will hustle for worthiness and find only resentment in the wake.
If you have ever silenced your needs and desires, given up your dreams, the resentment you carry is a choice you made to do that. It’s not the other person’s fault. You may be a legitimate victim of a narcissist or abuser. I don’t take that away from you. But you chose to abandon yourself because you were terrified if you didn’t others would abandon you.
In early life you don’t really choose it so much. It’s just learned behavior that you’re repeating…
