Life is like this…

Adjust Your Sails
8 min readMay 6

I ordered breakfast through the drive through. Every fiber of my being wanting that sausage egg biscuit and hash brown. Only they gave me two bagel sandwiches and no hashbrown. Of course I’m upset, but it’s Friday and they’re busy. So I go in and politely switch for my order.

We drive a bit and I realize there is no straw for my orange juice. There was a hashbrown, and a sandwich that read “Sausage Egg Biscuit”. I get to work and open it to find it’s not that at all. It’s a hard biscuit, a cold egg, very little cheese, and bacon instead of sausage.

It was a more difficult day at work. There are some really big things happening to the company and I’m on the lower totem pole to solving it, but still part of the front lines as a billing representative now. There are hard and detailed conversations being had. My brain was fried today.

I just wanted to come home, but I also didn’t want to cook. In fact, I was afraid to cook or go out after breakfast. But John and I drove our son to get his glasses and on the way home he mentioned going out. He didn’t even care if I stayed in my sweats and slippers I’d put on earlier.

He sent me this video about how I am perfect for him and he’s going to choose me every day for the rest of his life. My daughter tried to video chat me so I could see my grandson. There were small lovely bits to my day.

My son went back out with us and I was craving steak. So John said this one buffet has it. We go and they do not have the kind of steak I wanted. It was thin with white crystals. I tried to eat it and suck it up, but I already didn’t want to be out eating. I was in sweats and slippers. It tasted freezer burned.

I just wanted to be home writing you with a cup of coffee. I was self-aware that I was on the verge of an emotional breakdown. Immediately my mood soured. I wanted to cry.

To so many it may seem so trivial, but it wasn’t the food. It was that even my food couldn’t go right. The computer was changing numbers at work all day. Things were just going wonky everywhere. A fallen Moon opposite Uranus it was. In my 4th and 10th houses.

Home is where everyone understands my moodiness, and I appreciate it so much I don’t act moody with them. In that moment, when I felt ready to cry, both John…

Adjust Your Sails

You must grow strong enough to love the world, yet empty enough to sit down at the same table with its worst horrors. ― Andrew Boyd