Member-only story
Know Thyself: Anxious Attachment
There are four different attachment styles in relationships. There is the anxious attachment, the avoidant attachment, the disorganized attachment, and the secure attachment. The ultimate goal is to become someone who is secure enough to authentically connect with another without fearing abandonment and pain.
For this blog, I’d like to discuss those who find themselves anxiously attached. Often, when we approach attachment with anxiety we attract people who are avoidant. And over time it doesn’t work because you’re craving and pursuing depth, while they’re terrified of it. The behaviors you exhibit further push your partners away. It becomes a tug of war.
Today we are going to discuss getting to know yourself. When Aristotle said, “To know thyself is the beginning of all wisdom”, he was giving us the key to living a happier and more fulfilling life. One where we stop fearing the control we do not have, and start controlling what we can.
So often we tend to look outside ourselves for approval, for validation, for friendship and connection, for entertainment, and for who we are. Because who are we without others? When they abandon us, hurt us, don’t give us that validation we seek, who are we? An unworthy being and victim who is bitter and resentful over unhealed parts of ourselves.
