Gracious Endings
When this year started I was in a great place. I made it two months with a great sleep routine, morning yoga, stretches, and meditation. I even recognized growth in an area of my life that hadn’t been challenged in a long time. I was feeling pretty good. I even began a new job.
Then Covid-19 came. I lost my job. My ex-husband is laid off, too. That means no income because there is no child support either. I won’t lose my home and am very grateful for subsidized housing. Housing will be a human right. My fear and anxiety gets very bad, and then I’m okay again.
My son and I both got sick. I had no clue and still don’t if it’s Covid-19. The lab told us seven days for results. Today is the ninth day, and now they’re saying ten days. Even then, the tests are only 60–70% accurate, so we’ll likely continue to self-isolate just in case.
We’ve both gone from feeling better to blah again, and I feel like if it were Covid we’d be far sicker. But the stress of not knowing and trying to stay informed can be a pendulum between intense anxiety and overwhelming grief. I know from experience only I can control that.
I remembered quickly that what we feed grows, so the things we take in most matter. When I get overwhelmed now I meditate, I give myself those pep talks I know work in the mirror, or I reach out to someone who I can trust to feed me the truth I need to hear, and help me get it together. Not folks who will feed my fear and have me adding that to the collective consciousness.
I’ve had a very pubic evolution, which used to bring me a lot of shame, but it no longer does. At the end of the day how I feel about me is far greater than how anyone else feels about me. So, it doesn’t really matter what someone else thinks or feels. The responsibility for our emotions and reactions is our own. Saturn has entered Aquarius, and it can tell us a lot about that.
I don’t know when we will ultimately be in the Age of Aquarius, but we’re definitely already feeling it coming. For the purpose of this piece I want to stick to Saturn in Aquarius and what that means. It’s going to feel more and more like we’re in an abusive relationship for a time. Saturn is known to restrict, and in Capricorn previously, that’s exactly what it did.
It goes back into Capricorn from July to December. We are not out of the woods, but promise yourself to watch and learn from what is happening, rather than being charged by it emotionally. Practice healthy detachment.
Aquarius is all about freedom from restriction, and won’t play along the way Capricorn did. No hate to Capricorn as it was just doing its thing. None of it is as personal as it feels. Before I dive too deep I’m going to give you key words that describe Saturn and Aquarius separately. Then I will give events in history that coincided with this same match up.
Aquarius:
World order, social systems, social movements, economic systems, ecological systems, business networking, nervous system, Utopian and dystopian societies, Civil Rights, Labor Unions, Communities, science innovation, experiments, Internet, global markets, freedoms, astrology, alternative knowledge, humanitarian endeavors, collective solidarity, visions and ideas.
Saturn:
Restriction, control, regulations, laws, order, limitation, sanctions, duties, responsibility, correction, slow and steady, restrictive, systematizing, force, resistance, testing, distance, strictness.
Aquarius is the parent who gives their child too much freedom. It’s a naivety about the darkness in many ways. It’s wanting freedom, but not understanding that only comes through real responsibility, and that you aren’t truly responsible for your children or anyone else if you can’t be responsible for you first. Aquarius isn’t great at boundaries and making its brilliant ideas a reality. That’s where we can use Saturn’s help.
He’s the parent that is far too hard on his kids. He will punish rather than discipline, and the child doesn’t understand the intention; only how it makes them feel. Saturn is great for assisting in schedules, setting laws and regulations, and with Aquarius by his side historically those laws and regulations have been for the people. We’re in that battle right now.
Think of two planets coming together like a couple. They are together for a time to create and give birth to something new. Let’s discuss what happened when Saturn was in Capricorn first because it’s headed back there, and we may experience more turbulence before it all settles down.
These transits are never fast or easy. Saturn reveals things to us slowly. He takes no shortcuts. He teaches us patience. He honors tradition and experience over praise. He reminds us that knowing the price of everything and the value of nothing is too expensive to carry.
Saturn entered Capricorn in December of 2017. The lessons we’ve been learning ever since have carried such enormous weight. The lessons have been dense and heavy. Saturn rules underground caves and graves and Capricorn works with what is tangible and reliable. They tell us the story of tradition and want us to adhere to it. It doesn’t matter if it makes sense.
Aquarius says tradition for tradition's sake can be harmful. Saturn is ruler of both Capricorn and Aquarius, so is comfortable in either. Saturn is going to be dominant until 2023 and this will highlight our rules, boundaries, borders, and structures that we live within. That will all be changing.
Under Saturn in Capricorn we are being taught tangible lessons with the market crash and job loss. It comes along to tell us the hard truths we need to know in order to mature. During this time you’ve also seen a rise in movement leaders like Bernie Sanders, Jeremy Corbin, Justice Dems, Sunrise, and many others. Look at the grass roots candidates many of us have been supporting.
Even people like Andrew Yang have been useful to this discussion. We have big ideas being shared via technology that have never had such popularity before. Find the good in it all as you can. Yang also pointed out why the market isn’t a good measure for the well-being of the country.
For a while now we’ve been running on cheap, fast, and unsustainable solutions. It has harmed the people, the environment, our relationships, our psyches and nervous system, and our overall health. Rather than simply bailing out those who don’t need it, and leaving the rest to suffer, it’s time we bring a balance to this mess. It’s time for societal reorganization.
While in Capricorn those structures are being torn down. In Aquarius we will be building societal structures based on ethics and the collective whole. Rules and regulations will be coming for the one percent. They won’t suffer, but neither will workers, the disabled, and other communities.
The structures we rebuild will be intellectual, humanitarian, and based on thoughtful visions of our future. It will be about the needs of the group, and regulations and rules will ensure it stays that way. Systems will be equal to the masses, rather than rigged for the few. Get ready for three years of progress, technology and advancement benefiting the collective.
The last time Saturn was in Aquarius was 1991–1993. We ended apartheid on April 27, 1994. The movements to end it began while Saturn was in Aquarius and grew like wildfire. Mandela was elected president on April 29th. The Soviet Union ended on January 1, 1992.
When Saturn was in Aquarius again from 1962–1964 we saw the Civil Rights Act signed thanks to leaders like MLK. It banned discrimination in employment and school segregation based on race, religion, color, sex, or national origin.
In 1932–1935 Saturn was in Aquarius, too. We saw the rise of dictators like Hitler and Stalin. Sort of how previous to this joining we’ve seen Trump Balsanaro, and other authoritarians given rise. It caused the great depression, which sparked mass movements in labor and social welfare. We eventually had FDR and the new deal. Social security, medicare, worker’s rights, all born under Saturn in Aquarius.
Since then many of the regulations we sought and achieved have been undone. We are now in a spiritual war. This one will be far less bloody than past wars have been, but it is taking causalities. Our greatest war is between love and fear. We aren’t right, left, or center. We are a spectrum of perspectives that are often clouded by bias and uninformed opinions.
They want you to be a “real” Democrat. What does that even mean? Joe Biden was paid over $200,000 during the 2018 midterms, arguably the most important in our lives, to give a speech for the Republican over his Democratic challenger. See, that’s the illusion.
Those in power make it seem like you have a choice, but whenever someone comes along to truly represent you they do all they can to stop them. This happened in 2016 and it’s happening now, too. They are both one party, pretending to be two, united in their belief that the workers who create the wealth deserve none of it.
Big shifts in power are coming. These shifts are needed to advance humanity. History is being written right now, and the side you’re on matters. The establishment and those who have bought the power are doing everything they can to stop us. They are grasping with their last strength to hold on and maintain control. They’re realizing their power is not a shield in all crisis.
They can let go or be dragged, but change is coming. They may try to limit our speech more with online censoring, we might see the rise of a cashless society, and feel a bit more oppression when Saturn heads back into Capricorn for a bit. Don’t let it make you afraid. It will all be amplified by the corporate media, leftists and incels on YouTube, and social media. Take breaks often.
It’s a time where our belief systems about ourselves, about each other, and about what is possible in the world are shifting. The impossible is becoming possible because we’ve been woken up and shown another way. New leaders for the people will continue to rise, and bring us together. Listen to those voices and amplify those voices. Don’t be their harshest critics. They’re brave, but very human and imperfect.
This is about authoritarianism vs freedom, war vs peace, light vs dark, and love versus fear. The government will continue to try and control our freedoms, restrict our movements, control us with media, but our new leaders will persist and fight back. Their weapon is us so be ready.
Work on keeping your own vibration high. Turn it all off and meditate. Be informed and alert, but not anxious. Find accountability partners. Aquarius and Saturn are teaching you that real freedom is taking responsibility for yourself, but accepting help as part of a collective.
We’ve been oppressed so long. Bernie’s run in 2015 woke us up. We can only take so much. We are now cornered, again, and pushing back. What you feed grows. Feed our awakening. Feed the positivity and love of the movement. Restrictions will be put on the markets before this over, rather than on me and you. True equality and freedom is being birthed from this.
Climate change may become a focus. The people will demand it. We will ultimately end up with a Green New Deal by 2024. I predict great scientific advancements as well. Since Aquarius controls the nervous system many of us will begin taking responsibility for our anxiety and depression.
Whether it means being medicated as needed, or meditating and learning emotional intelligence. We will be there to pull each other up, rather than feed off one another and stay stuck. The movement will grow. We will start giving up our vices.
We’re taking collective responsibility when we take responsibility for ourselves. In the past we won with solidarity. Never have we had the potential like we do now to stand together in global movements of it. May you find comfort and courage in this.
Aquarius rebels against oppression. More people will turn to using their talents and skills to make money. We will start to form communities of caring people who want to contribute something greater to the whole. Many will stop feeling the need to be alone and isolated. We will move away from the system altogether in some cases and create our own.
Saturn legalizes the needs of Aquarius. The needs of Aquarius are the whole. Aquarius envisions a fair, just, humanitarian society where we take care of the least of these in deed and not just word. Saturn will create that reality.
Be cautious in conversation because the energy has the potential to keep people more stubborn and stuck on their opinions than usual. View yourself as a detached witness of what is going on. Find a zen state where you’re not destroyed by your emotions. See life as a social experiment.
Collages and higher education are likely to change. The more dogmatic, strict religions and institutions will continue to crumble. Tradition is not good just because it can claim tradition. We’ll grow more focused and in balance with our views on local community and global society. Aquarius rules these systems and will teach us how to balance them.
Instead of a savior figure like Jesus or Mohammed, we’re learning we can only save ourselves. We save ourselves by first being responsible for ourselves, and then joining forces with others of like-mind. There is no Antichrist but the spirit of authoritarianism. Stop waiting for one man to rise. We have several in power right now, and the best thing we can do is raise our consciousness.
There is not one being who is coming to save us. The lesson is to come together and save ourselves. There is no other way, and the scapegoat you’ve convinced yourself of doesn’t truly absolve your duty. Allow yourself enough time online to be informed of what you must know, and then unplug. Call your family and friends, learn something new, meditate, create art.
Yes, compassion is painful. I really do feel connected to everything and everyone. This leads me to feel responsible for everything and everyone, but I’ve learned the hard way I can only be responsible for me. That doesn’t mean I turn away from the pain. My destiny is bound with your destiny.
I am still learning how to carry the universe. It’s a bit heavy and the more of you doing your part the lighter and easier it gets. I want to stay in love with the world, so I have to learn how to sit at the table with its worst horrors, and accept reality to change it. I cannot allow it to consume me.
There are other cycles happening this year, too. From January to April alone we have four of them. Pluto/Saturn, Pluto/Jupiter, Saturn/Mars, and Jupiter/Mars. The first happens every 36 years. The second happens every 13 years, and the last two happen every two years. I’ll be writing about them if you prefer to wait for me to put it together.
In the meantime, I leave you with this:
Namaste.
