Communication and Connection
If you truly walk the path of self-awareness, you will eventually reach the place where you love yourself the way you once begged others to. You won’t settle for lovers who shrink from your mess or flinch at your magic.
You’ll realize it’s better to be alone than dim your light for someone unwilling to match your glow. But what the gurus don’t tell you?
It’s not just a journey. It’s a lonely one.
Because the deeper your love for yourself, the higher your standards.
And baby, most people can’t even clear the bare minimum.
There’s no quick fix for the ache that comes with knowing your worth. But you’re not broken for feeling it. The ache is part of your wholeness.
So when it rises, name it. Breathe through it. Let it move through you like weather. And when it passes? Flow back to center. Again and again.
Like the ocean.
Like you were born to.
Today I heard the phrase, “You cannot talk alignment into existence”.
We are taught that communication is the answer to everything, but it is not. Comprehension is. You can articulate something as clear and precise as ever, but the person you’re articulating it for must have the capacity to receive it. I don’t know about you, but I needed that reminder today.
Stop rephrasing the same truth over and over, hoping maybe they’ll eventually get it. The problem isn’t the way you’re explaining it. It’s their inability to receive it.
They hear you. They just can’t meet you there.
You are filtered through their emotional and psychological limitations. This means your clarity will get distorted and your vulnerability will be minimized. But that doesn’t mean you’re too much.
It means the person in question hasn’t developed the range to hold what you’re asking for. This means they have to reduce it. Not because you don’t deserve to be met, but because they can’t meet you.
Rather than growing to meet you, they shrink you to keep you small. So they feel a false sense of safety. This is not a communication issue.
It’s a capacity issue.
You can say it better, louder, softer, more often, but that won’t help love find its way. You cannot communicate them there. You’re not trying to be understood. You’re trying to be felt.
Which requires resonance, not reasoning.
So many people do not want love. They are seeking relief. They want you to silence their demons. To hold onto their pain. To shoulder what they refuse to unpack for themselves. Then they want to call that connecting.
But if someone treats their own soul like it’s an option, they don’t deserve your devotion. Don’t let someone demand consistency from you, when they ghost their own growth the moment it’s a little uncomfortable. They want you to see them, until you do, and then they flinch.
This is when they project the too much, too intense, too whatever label onto you. And this is because what they really want is admiration, and the illusion of belonging that sells. They aren’t ready to be witnessed.
Asking you to love them is easy. Them truly being ready for it is not. When your love is real it’s a mirror, and demands they remove their mask. It doesn’t show up to admire them. It’s here to confront them.
Real loves shows us where we are reacting instead of responding. Where our pain and traum still runs the show. Where our ego believes the chase is all that matters. That love is something we win, rather than build.
Don’t allow people to assign their unmet needs onto you and call that chemistry and compatibility. They want you to parent them. They’re not ready to be the partner you deserve and need. Let them go.
They keep circling back, seducing you into staying, so they won’t be abandoned like the last time, but they keep abandoning themselves. They want you to stay without ever requiring they evolve. They want you to become a softer cage for what they carry.
The version of them that you know deserves love, the potential you see, it’s buried under ego, fear, and control. They are addicted to being pursued more than they care about being present. And you begging is pursuing.
Let the version of you who outsourced her worth rest. You become the partner who speaks when it’s hard, and stays when it’s heavy. Who can listen to feedback without getting defensive. Who can love without making it a performance. Because baby girl, no man will ever complete you.
Every person you meet mirrors you.
And if you’re already this partner, know that someone else’s inability to meet you there doesn’t devalue you. They just aren’t ready to meet their own reflection. Maybe they mistake your clarity for criticism, no matter how softly you speak it.
They hear you. They just can’t meet you there.
